This Is 30

10 Things About Adult Life I Still Don’t Understand
www.EliteDaily.com

I used to think 30 was old. Like, so old.

I thought I would be married, at the top of my career and versed in world events and social niceties.

Unfortunately, I still don’t even feel like a real adult all of the time. It’s more like I’ve gotten really good at playing pretend adult, and they have started letting fetuses graduate from high school (apparently it only seems like they get tinier every year).

However, when I think about the last decade of my life, I realize I really have changed and “grown.”

I no longer think it is a good idea to drink an entire bottle of $6 champagne, date someone who is super fun but may or may not be a drug dealer or say “I am a people person” during a job interview.

I have become less selfish, less fearful and more conscious and deliberate.

But despite all of the knowledge, life experience, and “adultness” I have gained over the last 30 years, there are still some things (of varying importance) I just don’t understand:

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1. Tipping.

This is a seemingly simple social rule I always feel like I do incorrectly. Sure, the waitstaff obviously needs to be tipped. But what if I’m getting my order to go?

Do I tip a smaller percent for counter vs. table service? I tip my hairdresser but do I need to tip my laser hair removal technician? (Because I feel really weird tipping someone in scrubs.)

And, why is tipping even a thing? Things were way easier when I lived in Europe and didn’t have to worry about tipping at all.

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2. How to do my hair.

I can do two things to my hair: blow-dry it straight, or go to sleep with it wet and let it do whatever the f*ck it wants (this usually results in pretty waves, but if I have angered the hair gods, the waves will only be on one side).

That’s it. I can’t even French braid, and, as stupid as I realize this is, it makes me feel like less of a woman.

I know there are YouTube tutorials and how-tos out there, but I just feel if I didn’t learn this stuff as a teenager, I don’t have enough know-how to start now.

Of course, now that I’m 30, the number of events for which I need to “do” my hair are few and far between. My life is more Netflix than clubs or galas.

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3. What to do with my money.

I started looking into this last year, but I only have a vague grasp of things like mutual funds and bonds.

I am not really sure what qualifies as a good investment (though I do know, despite what Carrie Bradshaw may think, shoes do not count).

Basically, I put money into my 401(k), don’t spend it on stupid sh*t and rely heavily on fund ratings represented in graphic form (it’s so much easier to count the number of stars than actually read things).

But, I still essentially feel like I am giving my money to people and trusting them to do good things to it.

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4. What I want to be when I grow up.

I remember hearing 40-year-olds say this when I was younger and thinking, “What’s wrong with you that you don’t know by now?”

Turns out, choosing a career is a long and winding path filled with dead ends through which you have to navigate yourself.

Given that my previous job requirements were “Pay me in money,” I have certainly learned many things I do not want to do. But, I also got a late start on figuring out what actually suits me.

Pinpointing and honing the skills I have and discovering different ways to use them can lead me in many different directions.

For example, I have always been a perfectionist, and while this stressed me out when I had to plan events, it worked to my advantage as a copy editor.

Figuring out the right intersection of what you’re good at, what you love to do and what will pay you takes more time for some people.

But, that’s okay as long as you are making the efforts to figure it out.

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5. How to plan meals.

It is unfathomable to me you can go to the grocery store once a week and anticipate everything you will want to eat during that time.

This is partially because I am still rebelling against growing up with an unchanging weekly menu, but I can’t stand making commitments to meals without the input of my appetite’s whims.

My lack of planning often results in late-night trips to the store, high grocery bills from when I attempt to plan but change my mind, and seeking refuge in macaroni and cheese far more than I should at this age.

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6. The dark side of humanity.

As much as I understand people won’t behave like “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood” all the time, I still don’t get it when people are just straight up awful to each other.

Whether it’s via comments, on the Internet, or on the news; I still feel 5-years-old sometimes because I just don’t understand how someone could act so terribly to another human being.

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7. All the rules of football.

I am from Maryland, so I have watched my fair share of football over the years, but I’m pretty sure they make some rules up during the game.

Football sometimes makes what is essentially a more elaborate game of keep away way too complicated.

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8. “Runner’s high.”

I have definitely learned the importance of regular exercise as my body slowly starts to crumble, but f*ck running.

It does not help me think, I do not zone out and I do not feel better after I run. If I am running to chase a ball (e.g. soccer), it is fine, but not as an activity in itself (yes, I realize this makes me seem very similar to a dog).

Don’t even get me started on marathons. Bravo to those who run them without getting bored, but waking up at the crack of dawn and running for several hours is not for me.

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9. The politics and history behind most world events.

Like, I know the Houthis staged a coup and took over Yemen and that ISIS has a stronghold in Syria.

But my understanding of context or why it’s important is largely dependent on the readability of the Wikipedia page.

I don’t want to sound ignorant, and I really do try (“The Edge” from Elite Daily helps).

But, I just don’t have time to learn the entirety of history plus keep up with current events and, you know, live my life and do things I enjoy.

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10. Exactly which combinations of alcohol result in a hangover.

Though I sadly have much more experience with this now, I sometimes wake up with a headache after only one or two drinks.

Clearly, more research is still needed.

The Truth About Success

“Without any of that, even the criticism and the disappointment, you won’t have any success. To truly be successful, we need to experience rejection in order to know that failure is an option and know what that growth from this will lead to all we had ever wanted, and then further change/growth….it’s life. We never stay on top.”
–AlyssaExplainsItAlways

My best friend nailed this. I couldn’t have put this any better, if I do say so myself.

Death Trapped

“Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.”   -Janet Fitch

Loneliness is a very difficult (Unfortunately even fatal to some) condition, and state of mind.
Buttons pushed. Pressure building. Yet, nothing released. It’s held inside.
Now let’s add just a little more pressure; there are those who focus, others fold.
There is always the choice of giving in, or pushing forward into the unknown.
But this is something that everyone, already knows..

I find myself remembering the life of living in a death trap.
The death trap. An institution of such a dark place.
One in which very few would have the balls to survive in.

Alone. Unable to move. Yet, restless. Suffocating.
Bloody tears falling. Vision Cloudy. Eyes burning. Pain.
Standing. Screaming, in the middle of a crowded room, for help. But, no one looks up.
Cries go unnoticed, screams are never heard.
Fading away back into the darkness, into the not-so-silent, night.

There is a strong spirit, of which whom’s only desire, is to be set free.
Unshackled from the, all too familiar, Death Trap.
The one in which I once lived, but it’s back again. It’s Here

Rub the wings of a butterfly, and it will not fly, never again.
Permanently grounded. After so much time spent, emerging from it’s cocoon.
The former life it once knew, grounded inside the body of the caterpillar.
And now, the ground, is now the beautiful creature’s, death trap. It’s forcefully chosen, “home.”

The human condition, similar.
The spirit, stronger.

There are those who believe in spirituality, and those who don’t.. The two, are very different kinds.
Being. There is a spirit (or soul) living within the human mind and body. Or, there is not.

Black or White
With No Grey Area

. .Trust. .
Also, something of two very different kinds.
Trust in one’s word versus trust in one’s actions. ….Which speaks louder.
Can you see through the thin line of the plastic? Between that of which is real, and that of which is fake?

. .Fear. .
It Is Not Real
It is a Mentality. An Emotion. 
This Element Can Be Overcome.

So many mysteries and new places to be discovered.
A life that one could never imagine possible, may be hidden in the darkness.
Memories and thoughts, bouncing around in the mind, as if the spirit has actually left the human body.
Even if for just a few seconds. It is minutes. For the lucky ones.. Instant Bliss.

Find the Light.
The Spirit Will be Set Free.

“The phoenix must burn to emerge.”

Let’s get weird…

b.love.li

The pursuit of normality has unforeseen consequences. Don’t strive to be normal! Strive to be you! The world will have you remain silent, void of creativity, lacking a backbone, and supporting the status quo. The world will ask you to exist but beg you not to live. No! You MUST live! You have crazy aspirations and bizarre ideas and, despite what the world says, you are meant to use them. Use all your gifts and all your unique quirks to add color to this drab canvas. Never strive for normality. Always strive to be you. Let’s get weird…

❤ L

Follow B.Love.Li on:

Instagram: @B.Love.Li

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Twitter: @B_Love_Li

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Elevate Your Life!!

..Spin your wheels if you want to…

Trying to beg mean people to be nice. Lazy people to work hard. Greedy people to be generous.

But the simple truth is, if things are going to change, its up to you, because your actions are all you can control.

Each persons circumstances are different.

Sometimes it is helpful, and even necessary, to call people out on unacceptable behavior.

But don’t get stuck there..

Be conscious of your own actions and how they’ve contributed to your current life.

Be conscious of what actions can help you change your situation.

Stop spinning your wheels!

Remain Conscious!

Take action!

Elevate your life!

b.love.li

The world is crazy, but you are a force. You have the ability to move through the chaos and negativity unaffected. Never let a “No” stop you. Tap into what you know to be true by speaking affirmations of power and determination into your life. Then kindly, firmly, and unapologetically pursue your goals, knowing you have within you an insurmountable “YES” !

❤ L

Follow B.Love.Li on:

Instagram: @B.Love.Li

Facebook: B.Love.Li

Twitter: @B_Love_Li

WordPress:https://bloveli.wordpress.com/

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100 of the Most Beautiful Words in the English Language

Ailurophile	A cat-lover.
Assemblage	A gathering.
Becoming	Attractive.
Beleaguer	To exhaust with attacks.
Brood	To think alone.
Bucolic	In a lovely rural setting.
Bungalow	A small, cozy cottage.
Chatoyant	Like a cat’s eye.
Comely	Attractive.
Conflate	To blend together.
Cynosure	A focal point of admiration.
Dalliance	A brief love affair.
Demesne	Dominion, territory.
Demure	Shy and reserved.
Denouement	The resolution of a mystery.
Desuetude	Disuse.
Desultory	Slow, sluggish.
Diaphanous	Filmy.
Dissemble	Deceive.
Dulcet	Sweet, sugary.
Ebullience	Bubbling enthusiasm.
Effervescent	Bubbly.
Efflorescence	Flowering, blooming.
Elision	Dropping a sound or syllable in a word.
Elixir	A good potion.
Eloquence	Beauty and persuasion in speech.
Embrocation	Rubbing on a lotion.
Emollient	A softener.
Ephemeral	Short-lived.
Epiphany	A sudden revelation.
Erstwhile	At one time, for a time.
Ethereal	Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
Evanescent	Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
Evocative	Suggestive.
Fetching	Pretty.
Felicity	Pleasantness.
Forbearance	Withholding response to provocation.
Fugacious	Fleeting.
Furtive	Shifty, sneaky.
Gambol	To skip or leap about joyfully.
Glamour	Beauty.
Gossamer	The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk
Halcyon	Happy, sunny, care-free.
Harbinger	Messenger with news of the future.
Imbrication	Overlapping and forming a regular pattern.
Imbroglio	An altercation or complicated situation.
Imbue	To infuse, instill.
Incipient	Beginning, in an early stage.
Ineffable	Unutterable, inexpressible.
Ingénue	A naïve young woman.
Inglenook	A cozy nook by the hearth.
Insouciance	Blithe nonchalance.
Inure	To become jaded.
Labyrinthine	Twisting and turning.
Lagniappe	A special kind of gift.
Lagoon	A small gulf or inlet.
Languor	Listlessness, inactivity.
Lassitude	Weariness, listlessness.
Leisure	Free time.
Lilt	To move musically or lively.
Lissome	Slender and graceful.
Lithe	Slender and flexible.
Love	Deep affection.
Mellifluous	Sweet sounding.
Moiety	One of two equal parts.
Mondegreen	A slip of the ear.
Murmurous	Murmuring.
Nemesis	An unconquerable archenemy.
Offing	The sea between the horizon and the offshore.
Onomatopoeia	A word that sounds like its meaning.
Opulent	Lush, luxuriant.
Palimpsest	A manuscript written over earlier ones.
Panacea	A solution for all problems
Panoply	A complete set.
Pastiche	An art work combining materials from various sources.
Penumbra	A half-shadow.
Petrichor	The smell of earth after rain.
Plethora	A large quantity.
Propinquity	An inclination.
Pyrrhic	Successful with heavy losses.
Quintessential	Most essential.
Ratatouille	A spicy French stew.
Ravel	To knit or unknit.
Redolent	Fragrant.
Riparian	By the bank of a stream.
Ripple	A very small wave.
Scintilla	A spark or very small thing.
Sempiternal	Eternal.
Seraglio	Rich, luxurious oriental palace or harem.
Serendipity	Finding something nice while looking for something else.
Summery	Light, delicate or warm and sunny.
Sumptuous	Lush, luxurious.
Surreptitious	Secretive, sneaky.
Susquehanna	A river in Pennsylvania.
Susurrus	Whispering, hissing.
Talisman	A good luck charm.
Tintinnabulation	Tinkling.
Umbrella	Protection from sun or rain.
Untoward	Unseemly, inappropriate.
Vestigial	In trace amounts.
Wafture	Waving.
Wherewithal	The means.
Woebegone	Sorrowful, downcast.

Overcoming the Fear of Death

By: The Spirit Science

The fear of death always comes at or near the top of people’s worst fears. Some psychologists believe that this is such a potent fear, we push it down into the subconscious in order to avoid it. Yet from its hiding place the fear remains active, re-emerging in times like the death of a loved one, making grief even more painful and anxious.

Avoiding the fear of death clearly isn’t the best tactic. One reason that Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s famous five stages of dying became so popular is that she gave us a rational framework for handling a once-taboo subject.

Rationality is one of the two ways a person can overcome their own personal fear of death. The starting point for most rationalists, particularly scientists, is to assume in the absence of data from the afterlife that our consciousness is extinguished at the moment of death.

In a short video on the subject of, “What happens after we die?” physicist Brian Greene takes the position, when you’re gone, you’re gone.

But this isn’t really scientific or very rational. The rational position is that in the absence of evidence on either side of the question, no conclusion can be reached. Greene offers some consolation, however, by referring to Einstein’s famous quote, “The distinction between past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

To a physicist, time is static and eternal, which means that the life each person is living now remains intact inside the framework of spacetime. As consolation goes, this is small potatoes, however, since the illusion of being born, living for an entire lifespan, and then dying is how the everyday world works.

Socrates was condemned to commit suicide by drinking a cup of hemlock and, according to Plato, exhibited remarkable calm at the end, even refusing the escape plan to leave Athens proposed by his distraught friends. He explained his calm in rational terms, saying that if we have taken a step every day towards the destination of death, why should the last step frighten us any more than the previous ones? But this seems like cold comfort, too. If the edge of a cliff is a hundred steps away, the last one will be frightening no matter how calm the earlier 99 steps are.

The rational way to approach the fear of death will never be enough, because of the emotional component. But if you can subdue and dissipate the emotional component, rational arguments do apply. Every culture has reported the kind of near-death experiences that have gained wide media coverage over the last 40 years.

Hundreds of children have been studied carefully who report remembering their past lives, which supports reincarnation. If this evidence is not conclusive. However; it is not nonsense either. Being completely skeptical about the afterlife in the absence of solid evidence isn’t rational, because as I just pointed out, the question is entirely open-ended.

There is no proof of the extinction of consciousness, even though that’s the standard skeptical argument. The notion that the mind dies when the body dies is a strong materialist belief, but there’s no hard evidence to support it.

The second way to overcome the fear of death, if rationality can’t do the job on its own, is psychological. Every night we go to bed and the mind is extinguished for seven or eight hours.

Sleep is a non-experience. We don’t fear this non-experience. It isn’t even classified as the scary unknown, because we’ve all gone through the extinction of consciousness thousands of times. Yes, one might object, but sleep is temporary, and this knowledge reassures us. But does anyone actually refer to this knowledge when they get in bed every night? What seems more likely is something much more basic: Sleep poses no anxiety because it is a psychological area where fear never gained a toehold.

If that’s true, then the key to overcoming the fear of death has nothing to do with convincing yourself that there’s nothing to be afraid of.  Instead, fear of death should be approached as fear, period. The fact that death is the specific object makes no difference. This is more or less the Buddha’s answer. He teaches that a person must solve the entire issue of pain, including fear, not the specific examples of pain. The world’s wisdom traditions seem to agree that fear ends when you locate the place that is without fear, and such a place is inside everyone.

So the goal isn’t to wrestle with the fear of death until you feel calm about it. The goal is to find the place where fear of death is irrelevant. As long as we identify ourselves with the cycle of birth and death, we will be gripped by fear that nothing exists beyond the grave. For most people, terms like “the cycle of birth and death” sound esoteric and alien. But there’s no need for any terminology or indeed any thinking about death.

The simple fact is that when you get to the place where fear of death doesn’t exist, you notice that you no longer have the fear, just as when you find your car keys, you have no fear that you lost them anymore.

Now that meditation is quite familiar to almost everyone, it should be fairly easy to accept that meditation takes you to the place you want to reach, a deep sense of self that is untouched by fear. The experience is what counts. Along with the absence of fear, meditation sharpens one’s ability to stay in the present moment. This is another great help, because what makes death so frightening is the anticipation of it.

In a short space I can only sketch in the outlines of getting past this deep fear, but at least it’s worthwhile to point people in the right direction. Forget the claims that science or skepticism has proven that death brings total extinction. They haven’t, and besides, whatever the experience of dying will be like, everyone should do their best not to be afraid. A life free of fear is a desirable goal on its own.

50/50 Relationships?

Question:
Is a partnership with your significant other really supposed to be 50/50? .. Is it even possible? ..Or am I just living in some type of fantasy world..?

I was lucky enough to be brought up and raised by both of my parents, who always lived under the same roof. They’ve never split up, never cheated on one another, and raised my little sister and I the best they could. They lead by example, showed both of us what marriage truly is about, and how things should be handled within it. Showing us each and every single day, that the bond and love that they have for one another is so strong, that nothing could disrupt it. I can actually say, that in all of my childhood, to this day, that I have never heard them have a verbal argument, not over anything. There was never even a hint of their marriage being even the slightest bit broken or unstable; Married for over 30 years now, without so much as a hiccup shown to anyone else. They handled things quietly, quickly, and waited until they were alone to discuss their differences and/or problems when the time was right, between just the two of them.

In fact, the neighborhood I was brought me up in, is full of nothing but successfully married couples. Couples who quietly resolve their differences away from the public eye, and their children. So, needless to say, having a strong and unbreakable bond with my husband has always been what I’ve expected. I never expected a necessarily smooth sailing & quiet marriage with no problems; but one that is kept in private, where he and I discuss and work through our disagreements by compromise amongst ourselves. That is, at least what I had expected to have with my husband, when (or if) I ever got married..

Being raised in a marriage based community, (90% of which are still married to this day, at least 20 years later). I observed, and was taught the difference between those being raised by a single parent, and those who were raised with both parents present, everyone still living under one roof. I also was taught that there was a certain way in which things worked, to have a successful marriage, a successful life. A specific way to do things.. So, I promised myself that I would only be married once, and would never put my children, If I decided to have any of my own, through the hardships that I saw so many of my close friends go through by having a broken home, and/or having to blame themselves for their parents separating. (As all too many women use their children as a way to get to the fathers, and this directly affects the child in a negative way.

To have a strong and successful marriage, so far, I’ve learned that:

The women: take care of the finances, the kids, the planning, the in-door chores, remained attentive to her husband’s needs wants and desires, made sure everyone kept up with their doctors appointments to maintain good health, while still maintaining that the household continues to move and progress as a unit. The woman is the neck that turns the head around, the backbone, the foundation..

The men: work hard, may drink a little & possibly party a little, watch sports, help maintain the house, fix what needs to be fixed, build what needs to be built, acknowledges that that his wife is a good woman, and does whatever he can to keep her satisfied.

Well…. That is what I thought I knew.

I have been married for a year and a half now. When we were dating, I suggested that he give me some of the money to put away, and of course it is all gone now. The reason being that he “didn’t know me well enough” to let me handle the finances.

Well.. It is now 3 years later.. And this is still the case. He spends frivolous money on what he thinks is “helping us,” which is actually destroying what we have, very slowly, and very painfully. I have tried and tried to talk to him about my opinion on this particular subject, but “its not the right time,” or “not right now,” is the only response I ever seem to get. I hold shit down, make sure he gets what he needs and wants, whenever he needs/wants it. I don’t get the same in return. This is far from a 50/50 relationship; I’d say that it’s more 70/30, and it is not fair to me. If/when need someone to talk to, I am “psycho” or “schizophrenic.” But when he needs someone to talk to, OMG.. you’d literally think the world has come to an end because if I don’t answer my phone, immediately (including while I am at work), it “is a major problem.” …..??

I feel as though I need to just let this frustration and pain out of me, in fear that if I don’t, I will not make it through today, let alone tomorrow. I just want to be on the same page with him, be able to talk about what I’m going through at the moment, what is bothering me about him, (as well as what is bothering him about me) without making each other feel like total shit about ourselves. But every time I try to make an effort to correct the problems head on.. all I seem to get in return is more distance, and we don’t even live together anymore.. How much more distance does there need to be? 😦

I love him with the deepest part of my soul; and I know that, well I hope that he still does, feel the same way. I just cannot handle being the only one responsible for the problems that we are going through; both right now, and will go through in the future. & I do take full responsibility for the things that I do, mistakes that I make, but slowly I am beginning to feel like I cannot depend on my own husband to be there for me when I need him the most, not in the way that I am for him.. It is worse than any emotion or feeling I have ever felt.

I just don’t know what to do. I feel almost as though we both are at a crossroads, and he is choosing a path in which I am not in. It hurts like hell. I come from a long line of marriages that lasted literally until death did them part. So this, is not something that I know directly about having to feel. Not being able to successfully work through problems quickly, and quietly..

12 Stages to Happiness in your Relationship(s)

Here, I am going to expose 12 little tidbits for having (or keeping) a successful, & HAPPY, Relationship. So…Shhhh.!!. 😉

The Link Below is what inspired me to Blog(or “re-blog” rather) a few things that may help you in your own personal relationship(s), being that of a friendship, best friend, and/or a significant other.

www.LoveLikeQuotes.com

There are certain rules which can make or break a relation by just the usage of some inappropriate actions or even words. One should definitely keep in mind of how to woo your partner even after a long period in a relationship. If one even treats the other as an option, then the relationship will see off both the partners.

The following things can be kept in mind that act as a key to happiness in a relation:

1. Respect each other.

What seems to be the first and the foremost thing that one can ask in a relation? .. RESPECT! It’s good to agree to what your partner wants and needs, but it needs to be done willingly, if one is imposing things on you then you should rectify the problems binding up and think of a good solution. Respect is not only a man’s cup of tea, women love it when their guys respect them in public instead of claiming them as their personal property.

2. Communicate.

Communication is very important to avoid all kinds of problems. Just have a straightforward conversation, and the solutions will appear for everything. It will also help both partners to know each other better. Discussing of daily issues is a must, it will avoid unnecessary problems. The bond should definitely not suffer because of a lack of communication between the partners. You should try to be ( or become, if you aren’t already ) a good listener. This will always keep you a way ahead in the path success.

3. Don’t just expect things. Just Ask!!

Doing things that make your partner happy; that is how relationships work. It is absolutely fantastic if you do it willingly and without having to force yourself. Expecting the same in return, may stir up trouble within a relationship, as one may begin keeping a count of how much one has done for the other.. Vice-Versa. Never even our dreams will it ever work this way. Just do what your heart tells you to do, and you will see the magic once your partner eventually realizes it.

4. Forgive and (try to) forget as soon as possible!

It doesn’t matter how big and/or severe the mistake your partner has made in the past, it’s much better to forgive them, and try to move forward, and past it. Focusing on the future is a much wiser decision. Breaking up or being aloof is not the solution to every problem. Things should be sorted out in private without trying to involve any other third party in the issue. Communicating and talking about the issue amongst yourselves will give you greater satisfaction. Try reaching a mutual agreement of how to close or end the chapter and move on, or try not to repeat the same mistake again. Making mistakes is normal, it’s the natural human tendency; but learning from the mistake is what differentiates wise from the fools out there. There’s possibly no harm in forgiving your partner. Forgiving and forgetting is the best policy anyone can adopt.

5.  Spending quality time is a must, quantity doesn’t matter.

There’s always happiness when you are with “the one.“ You do anything like playing a sport, trying a new restaurant, or even watch your favorite flick together. You should always take to make sure you make some time for your loved one, even in a hectic busy schedule. This will definitely strengthen your relationship, and give you utmost happiness from inside for the both of you.

6. Compliments! Compliments!

Complimenting each other should never stop. It is one thing which can always give happiness at any time, any moment. They say girls like compliments but here is a secret, guys love it more than girls. It does not only give a smile on your man’s face but even it has the power to change one’s behavior for the better.

7. Choose your words very wisely.

Words contain a lot of power to either make or break a good friendship or even a relationship. They say first think and then speak. Words not only contain meanings but they contain a lot of power. You can hurt somebody with a word that may last in their memory lane forever and can even end a relation. Or another example comes when someone can heal you with a soft and caring word. Action may happen because of this in a micro second but it won’t heal in a million years too. Realization of this should make you mindful about things one chooses to say.

8. Power of touch!

The power of touch is definitely enormous. A simple hug can prove to be a life savior if at all one had a lousy day and all you feel is terrible all time round. A tap on the shoulder can prove to be a power booster or a motivational support. Virginia Satir said ” we need 4 hugs a day for basic survival. We need at least 8 hugs a day for maintenance. And at last we need 12 hugs a day for growth. ”

9. Freedom to be just yourself.

Everybody deserves to act in a way they want to act, behave in a way they want to behave. There should not be any kind of restriction from any partner to the other. There is no point in changing anybody and nobody should dare to do that. What they have should be appreciated in every possible way. Adjusting your attitude is the only solution to be happy with everybody around you. You have the freedom to be yourself in every phase of life, here and then.

10. Let your affection shine.

Almost anybody and everybody may claim that they love you. But what one expects are actions to prove your love and affection. Only the actions prove that how beautiful and caring your words actually feel. It is a must thing that your actions shine through your actions.

11. Just always support your partner!!

It doesn’t matter how crazy his/her idea might be, just try to always support your partner. The basic thing is that there is no right or wrong choices, there are just plain choices, and you never know what’s in store for you in the near future. No matter what your partner plans to do, just believe in him/her that they can do it with their full potential.

12. Never involve a third party.

Be it your best friend or your family member; just never include a third person in any kind of problem between a relationship of two. Nobody will harm it but you yourself might harm your happy relation as inclusion of any third person might cause issues in transfer of any conversation or any other thing of that sort. An issue should be sorted between only two persons.

So, finally go and find your loved one if you haven’t found one yet. There is a lot more happiness than you can think of in a lovey dovey relationship. Only the lucky ones get to taste this kind of charm.

May everybody find somebody of this kind who can do everything that is listed above and who can prove to the best in the kind.

Lessons to be Learned

Things Learned From Living That I Didn’t Earn a Degree For
(Alternative Title: Things It Took Me Too Long to Figure Out)

1. Get rid of anybody who makes you feel like you’re hard to love. Get rid of anyone who makes it seem like they’re doing you a favor by putting up with you. They’re not. Hang on instead to the people who love you even when it’s not easy.

2. Yes, you can wear leggings as pants. Yes, you can wear crop tops. Yes, you can wear tight skirts and dresses. Forget all the people who made you feel like you were too fat for those clothes.

3. It’s okay to want your mommy when you’re 22 and it’s three a.m. and you don’t feel like yourself. She’ll pick up the phone.

4. People love you.

5. You are capable of killing centipedes and spiders and of catching mice. The only thing that’s stopping you from being able to live alone are the pieces of clothing you own that you can’t get out of by yourself.

6. Popcorn and Ramen Noodles, neither are meals, stop trying to make either of them one.

7. When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you. Don’t deflect. They wouldn’t say such nice things if they weren’t genuine, because what’s in it for them? Nothing.

8. Life is not a fucking competition. If you ever feel yourself doing something because you know it’s going to tear someone else down, quit doing it. Support is rarer than it should be.

9. Let people like what they like and do what they do, as long as it’s not hurting anyone. Don’t like it? Cool. Now shut the fuck up because it’s not about you.

10. When it comes to new people, trust your instincts. They’re almost always correct.

11. Do yourself a favor and learn how you like to dress and do your makeup and hair. Do yourself up in whatever way feels best to you. It’s incredibly liberating to think you are beautiful.

12. Friends aren’t needlessly cruel. They won’t point out you’re not naturally skinny like the rest of your friends, or refuse to say anything nice about you, or imply that you’re stupid. Anyone who does do those things isn’t your friend and you should get rid of them. Immediately.

13. No one cares about your sex life (or impressive lack of), nor are they going to judge your worth by it. So stop using it as a measure of your self-worth.

14. Quit acting like you have forever. Your window of time to do anything gets shorter every day. Make friends with that person, say that thing, eat that slice of pie before somebody else does.

15. Unless you’re trying to win an argument, stop saying, “No, because…” You don’t have to justify not wanting to do something or feeling a certain way. “No” is an answer on its own.

16. So is “Yes.” But always follow through.

17. Be nice to people. Compliment a sweater or a scarf. Let the elderly on the train before you. Be nice to people because it feels good to not be an asshole, but also because every single one of us is going through something. Dealing with bullshit is a human experience, and sometimes all it takes is a small action to lighten someone’s burden or brighten someone’s world.

18. It’s okay to feel creeped out by weird dudes. You don’t have to feel guilty about it. It’s not your fault they stare or make lewd comments. All that matters is that you stay safe.

19. You can always count on your home team, no matter how far away from them you are. And as part of someone else’s home team, you always have to be prepared to go to bat for somebody else.

20. The people who are still in your life even though you thought you lost them for good at some point are there for a reason. Don’t try to figure out what the reason is. Just be grateful.

21. You are good at things.

22. You are unique.

23. It’s okay to have little indulgences. Buy the new bra, drink the third beer, spend the whole day making cookies. You deserve a break.

24. There will always be opportunities. Whether or not it’s the one you’re looking for, you will never be devoid of opportunities.